Who's Your Daddy?
by FunbagsMcBooty
Summary: Cuddy is going through a mid-life crisis after finding out she's infertile. She turns to her guys for help and ends up pregnant, but which one is the father? H/Cu/W; mindblowing hotness.
1. Chapter 1

Every woman reaches a certain point in her life when she realizes that she is never going to have that perfect family she dreamt of; that she'll never be a faultless mother, so she should just stop trying. It's usually called a mid-life crisis, but not everyone goes about it the same way.

For example; one woman may go out an get a bunch of tattoos or piercings because they never did when they were younger; or they might go out and get a hot red car, and a few revealing outfits to prove that they do still have the same sex appeal they did twenty years ago. And then there is the handful of women that were too busy with their careers to be bothered with settling down.

These women usually end up having an insane amount of unprotected sex with the men in their life. Of course if you don't know that many men it's not as dangerous as it could be; and it's even less dangerous when you find out that even if you had tried for kids when you were at your peak it wouldn't have happened because you're infertile.

That was what triggered Lisa Cuddy's mid-life crisis; a small piece of paper and her doctor telling her that she was dried up and would never be able to have a baby (no matter how hard she tried). To say it hurt would be an understatement; to say it was a disappointment would be a joke; because this news completely tore her apart.

It was what had driven her to invite herself over to House's apartment for a drink; it was that knowledge that had made her drink more alcohol than she had ever consumed in her entire life, and it was that fact that had made her give into the sexual tension they'd both been having for two decades.

Of course it didn't end there. Mid-life crisis usually take a while to stop; especially when you don't want them to.

And because of this she ended up repeating the process with a certain oncologist that admittedly had a thing for her and was more than happy to bed her; alcohol or no.

Most people regret one night stands, and the same could be said for Cuddy; which was why she went back for more. She would alternate nights between the two friends, trying hard to rid the feeling of failure by having as many orgasms as she could. It was probably a bitchy thing to do; using someone for sex (and probably worse that the two men she chose were best friends), but she trusted them both, and they were damn good at making her forget why she was doing it in the first place.

But all good things must come to an end, and sometimes the reason why is more than unexpected.

For the first time in three months (since she had started to sleep with House and Wilson) she was starting to regret it. Not because she felt guilty for sleeping with her employees or because they didn't know the real reason why, not even because they were best friends, but because she was now facing the consequences of her actions.

She sat on the edge of her bathtub, as she had done so many times during IVF, this time with a fax from her doctor a positive test confirming her pregnancy. She didn't know if she was more upset at the fact that she was told she couldn't get pregnant, or that she had actually given up. It was a strange feeling, because she was so sure a few months ago that if she ever managed to get pregnant she would be thrilled, but the fact that she had given up, and had accepted the knowledge that she'd never know the joy of being a mother made the moment bitter sweet.

A sigh escaped her lips as she stood up; running her hand over her face, and then it suddenly hit her. Who was the father? She'd started sleeping with both House and Wilson at the same time, and hadn't used 

anything with either of them. Her stomach slowly churned at the thought, and she quickly dropped to her knees, heaving into the toilet.

This was definitely not going to be an easy pregnancy; especially not when she would be filled with guilt. Both men were falling for her, that much she knew, and when they found out that either one of them could be the father of her baby it would probably tear their friendship apart, and she didn't want to be the cause of that.

But what could she do? Even if she hid it they'd eventually figure it out, and it wouldn't be long before they started asking question; questions she'd have to answer.

She slowly stood on wobbly legs, flushing the toilet before moving to the sink to rinse out her mouth, and splash some cold water on her face. She gripped the sink, staring at herself in the mirror and slowly shook her head.

"What the hell have you gotten yourself into?"


	2. Surprise!

Pregnancy is supposed to be a joyous time where you can walk around in cute clothes that show off your rounded belly and you actually have an excuse to be a bitch. Of course not every woman is quite so lucky; especially when they're trying to hide the fact that they're even carrying a baby. And why? Because they don't know who the father is and because no matter who was it was potentially hazardous to both of their jobs.

Cuddy never thought she'd be one of those women she'd seen on Montel or Maury who had more than two guys they were a hundred and fifty percent sure was the father of their two month old baby. She was smarter than that; at least she thought she had been.

It had been four months since she'd found out she was pregnant and she was close to six months along which made each day harder and harder to cover up her rapidly growing belly and she still hadn't told either Wilson or House that one of them may be a father.

She had stopped seeing both of them soon after getting her test back without so much as an explanation but it wasn't like she had needed one. She had told them from the beginning that it was just sex; nothing else, and they had accepted it. Not happily, but they accepted it all the same.

Now she found herself avoiding them at all costs which was a bit difficult since they worked together and they were bound to come to her with something that needed her approval.

So far she had managed to hide herself behind her desk or something equally concealing as to not draw attention to her midsection but she could tell they were starting to get suspicious. Mostly because her clothes had become much less revealing and her breasts were at least twice their normal size. She was surprised House hadn't made a comment about either of the two facts but she figured he'd decided to let up on her after their little affair.

She may have gotten away with it for the past five and a half months but her little game of hide'n'seek was bound to end at some point.

She'd started to get tired as she was starting to gain weight and being that she was a tiny woman to begin with it was taking its toll on her. She had taken to staying in her office as much as possible after morning rounds which made House even more suspicious. Usually by this time she was hovering over his shoulder pestering him with question of what he was doing and if he knew what was wrong with the patient.

Since House was notorious for being nosey and he wasn't exactly thrilled that Cuddy had ended their little tirade without so much as an explanation he decided to play detective to see just what the hell was wrong with her.

Of course it didn't take much snooping when upon walking into her office his eyes feel onto her obviously pregnant belly.

His mouth dropped open, her eyes widened, he dropped his cane, and she tried in vain to cover the baby bump with a stack of folders.

"Please tell me you were abducted by aliens." House stammered as he let the door shut behind him.

A look of horror had crossed Cuddy's face by that time. She was nowhere near ready to tell House or Wilson about this and now it would be even worse because they'd want to know why she had kept it a secret for so long.

"Don't freak out. I can explain."

"Ha, yeah! I'd hope so! Why didn't you tell me I knocked you up?!" He tried to keep his voice down so that he wouldn't draw the attention of the gossiping nurses outside the door.

"House, calm down."

"Like hell I will! You're pregnant and you've been hiding it from me?!"

She sighed as she set the folders down on her desk, her eyes lowering to the ground. She couldn't even think straight; not with his eyes boring holes into the top of her head.

"You should sit down."

"I'll stand." He said dryly.

"Okay..." She sighed deciding to take her own invitation and sat down in the chair behind her desk, "I didn't tell you...because I don't..." She closed her eyes and ran her tongue over her lips, not believing she was actually having to do this, "I don't know if it's yours."

House's mouth fell open even further and he leaned back against the door, suddenly wishing he had taken a seat.

"How many?" He asked softly; almost at a whisper.

"How many what?"

"How many guys?!" He asked a little louder and with anger.

She cleared her throat before she answered, "Just two...you...and another guy."

"Who?"

"Does it matter?"

"It does to me."

"House..." She looked at him, shaking her head as she gave him a pleading look.

"Who?" He asked firmly, his eyes locked onto hers.

He wasn't going to give up until she told him and she knew that, but how would he react? It was his best friend? He'd either be really angry, really jealous, or really upset, and neither of those were emotions she wanted to deal with.

She stared at him for a few seconds as she tried to decide whether or not she should be honest. If she was he'd probably end up freaking out on Wilson, and if she wasn't she risked him being angry at her. She sighed as she drew her lower lip between her teeth and nodded as she made her decision.

"It's...if I tell you, you have to promise not to freak out."

"Just tell me, Cuddy!"

"Fine. It was Wilson...okay?"

It obviously wasn't okay because the look on his face was of utter disgust, anger and the undeniable sadness. She hated that she had betrayed him but it wasn't like they were dating. She'd reached her mid-life crisis and she had needed someone to help her through it. It just so happened that she found two someone's for that job.

"Wilson?" He asked in disbelief, "The guy you said you didn't like as more than a friend?"

"What's the big deal? I'm a grown woman. I'm allowed to have frivolous sex."

"So that's all we were?"

"_We_ weren't anything, House. I told you that from the very beginning."

"Right." He nodded slowly as he bent down to grab his cane.

She couldn't believe what she was seeing. House was actually upset? Visibly upset? He looked like a puppy that had just been beaten with a rolled up newspaper. She could understand him having this reaction if they had been dating but it had just been sex; no emotions involved, at least that had been the initial plan.

"Are you going to do a paternity test?" House wanted to know as she straightened back up.

"Uh...yeah. After the baby is born."

"When is that?"

"May fifth..."

"You'll call me?"

"If you want."

He nodded then turned and opened the door. He hobbled out of the room leaving Cuddy to wonder what the hell had just happened. That hadn't been the way she wanted to tell House; she'd wanted to tell him the day she'd found out because deep down she wanted him to be the father. Wilson was a great guy and everything but she didn't love him, and she never would.

Cuddy was a little relieved that House knew about her pregnancy because that was one thing off of her mind. Of course she still needed to tell Wilson because there was a fifty percent chance that he was the father, and if that was the case he had more than a right to know.

She knew that Wilson would want to be there for her through the rest of her pregnancy, and right after the baby was born because that was the kind of guy he was. He'd own up to his responsibility unlike House; whom she was sure would run away if in fact he was the father. But she wouldn't blame him. Neither of them had been trying to get pregnant at the time and it was a shock to say the least.

A sighed escaped her lips as she leaned forward and brought her elbows onto the desk then dropped her head into her hands. This was just one more stress than she didn't need. She'd long since passed the risk of miscarrying but that didn't mean she would go without complications.

Stress put her at an even greater risk of delivering early; which was just as dangerous as miscarrying. She brought one hand down to gently caress her belly as she had found early on that it calmed her. She was happy about the fact that she was going to be a mother; just not about the fact that her unborn child had two possible fathers.

She had just started to calm down when she heard the door to her office open. She let out an audible sigh and lifted her head; surprised to see that it was Foreman.

She wrinkled her forehead as she folded her hands in her lap, wondering what he was doing there. It was very rare that House would send one of his lackeys to do his dirty work. She opened her mouth to ask what he needed but he started talking before she could even get the first word out.

"House just attacked Wilson."

Cuddy blinked slowly as she looked at him, trying to make sure she had heard him correctly. She knew House had been upset but she hadn't thought he'd react so terribly.

"Where are they?"

"Wilson is in the ER with a broken nose. Chase took House into his office so he could cool off."

She nodded and quickly stood up, completely forgetting about her stomach. Foreman's eyes were instantly drawn to the bump but he kept his mouth shut; it wasn't his business and he wasn't going to try and make it.

"Take House's cases for the day. I'm sending him home."

Foreman nodded and they both walked out of the room and turned in different directions. She knew she owed Wilson an explanation because House had no doubt said something about her in his fit of anger and the only reason he would be fighting over her would be if they had something going on between them.

He was no doubt bitter about the fact that she had ended things so abruptly and probably thought she had been with Wilson in the time between their 'break up' and this little revelation.

The sound of her heels echoed through the hall as she neared House's office, her shoulders tensing the closer she got. She wasn't sure what to say. It wasn't like he had been out of line; it was probably her fault for not clarifying it better.

She pushed her way into his office, trying to keep the annoyed look off of her face; there was no sense in instigating a fight at this point; it would just make things worse.

He lifted his head and glared at her, his jaw set tightly as he held a pack of ice to his swelling fist.

"Why did you attack Wilson?"

"Because he deserved it."

"Right. This jealousy thing might work with some women but it doesn't work with me. If you're trying to prove that you're the right guy for me this isn't the best way to do it."

"That's not what I was trying to prove."

"Then what were you trying to?"

He looked away at her question which told her he had no intention of answering. Not that she had expected him to. He was much too stubborn to admit anything to her; especially if had to do with showing affection of any kind toward her.

"Go home, House; before you end up beating the hell out of everyone on my staff."

She turned on her heel and walked from the room before he could say anything. They had plenty of time to fight later.


End file.
